October 26, 2015

personal post: Kids? No Thanks!

I have read so many articles lately on how successful, single women in their 30's and up, have chosen a childless life. I have read a lot of articles as well on couples going through tough times trying to have a baby. Their reasons, opinions and experiences through it all. I am not either so I thought I would share my side of this baby story.

A persons decision to have a child in their lives is a very personal part of them and is so admirable that they are sharing this to the whole wide world! I have been going back and forth on writing this post since I am not really sure how to get my point across to people. Though this is none of anybody's business, I feel like I do need to say something NOW. I am really tired of hearing others telling me that I should have a kid by now or it will be very hard if I do decide to have one in my late 30's. Rude or not, it's our decision not yours!

We have both agreed that we really do not want any kids. We would rather adopt more pets than have a kid. Why can't a happily married couple live their lives without children? Why is it that people cannot help themselves to say or ask about your baby situation? Why does a baby carriage have to come after marriage? Is it NOT ok to enjoy our own lives and spend it just with our pets? 

Today is our 8th year wedding anniversary and ever since we got married, the question of when will we be having kids has not stopped! No matter what we say to people (friends, relatives and friends of friends/ acquaintances), they still insist we should have one. I have heard how having a kid is the greatest joy in life, and yet these parents are the most stressed people I know.

It is not that we have tried and couldn't. We don't mind adopting if that was the case but we have NEVER tried actually. It's not that our relationship is on the rocks. Our marriage is actually in a great place. It is not that we can't afford it. We can change our lifestyle to meet the baby's needs. It is not that we don't have room. It is not that difficult to re-arrange our furniture to fit a crib and make room in the closet for his/her clothes.

Just because a couple got married they would want kids as well is not always the case. We enjoy our time together, we enjoy spending it with our cat and dogs. We love our childless marriage. I guess to some that is hard to understand. I just hope people realize bringing the baby topic into the table is a sensitive thing to talk about. To those who asks, listen and accept what that couple's reply is. If you do not like what they have to say, it's not your place to argue; to explain; to tell them what is right or what they SHOULD do. They know! Don't you hate it when someone tells you how to raise your kids?  

I don't mind listening to your stories about your kids but telling me how we SHOULD have a baby is where I would walk away. I don't mind babysitting your baby, I have changed my niece's dirty diaper, fed her, played with her and pushed her stroller. I am not a hater, HATE is a strong word. I just don't see myself as a mom. Fur momma - yes!

I do wonder what kind of life I can give them; how their future will look like in this overpopulated world where religious wars and gun crimes and narcissistic selfies exist. I do wonder what kind of parent I will be because we always tell ourselves, we will not be like our mothers, but we do and my mother is psycho which is another story. I do wonder what kind of food I will be making them because I would rather go to Seamless.com than cook. I do wonder what part of my health history will be passed on since it's not the best. Yes I know I'll never know if I don't have one, but these are not enough for me to get pregnant. 

You're welcome to leave your thoughts in the comment below. No opinion is wrong nor right.

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